Day 20 | #NaPoWriMo | Titles Are Actually Pressure Vol. 2

It's kinda mad how this has changed my work so dramatically. I'm definitely more productive and can translate my ideas/thoughts into writing so much better. It's been a very real eye-opener. I don't know how I've survived without this. I hope it's the same for anyone else doing this challenge. If you're reading this, I very much l rate you and love your hustle. Keep going, and keep pushing it with the output because it is very inspiring. 

This one was late because I got very busy and had to run a few errands tonight.  I hope it's worth the wait. You faithful remnant reading this are the real dons of this game. Thanks for being here. 

Enjoy

I turned you into Jericho
hoping to gain entry
until my circling spiralled,
became an invasion.
I never meant to break
your walls with my footsteps
and loud voice.
I wanted us to admire
the interior together. Now
I am staring at the rubble,
at the works of my mouth,
trying to put the pieces back together,
and failing, learning that
my hands are weaker than my tongue. 

Day 19 | #NaPoWriMo | And the third

Time is short, innit. So this is all the intro. I don't think one is necessary. DNA is fire.

Hold tight. 

Enjoy

No thing

I'm meant to describe you as I would a toy
but I haven't really touched one in 13 years
unless it was someone else's or for someone else,
just passing through, like my hands are a hostel or a bridge.

It's been a while since we last met
so in a way, maybe you are someone else's too - 
that is, if love is wanting and having at once. 

Love is much too strong a word
for the nothing that I have in place of you.

Day 18 | #NaPoWriMo | I'm not vexed, I'm tired

The news was interesting. Let's see where this goes now.

All I know is this: apathy is dead. As in not cool. As in unacceptable. If you're 18-25 and from the UK or a Commonwealth nation (yes, you can vote) then in the name of whatever you call upon, REGISTER TO VOTE. It takes, like, 5 minutes max. and there is no excuse whatsoever. you don't need an opinion right now, and I won't prescribe one. Just register. You can have one on 8 June (if you need time off work, book it now). 

And turn up. Please. 

Anyway, back to the poetry.

Enjoy x

Change

Pennies still cost more than they're worth
so you'll forgive me for not standing
with you in heat or sleet begging
for change they never wanted to keep anyway.

They will claim they did you favours
while you think your sweat had earned it while they continue
to dash the drying root and fruit of your labour.

Day 17 | #NaPoWriMo | Humble and Hot, Cold and Dry

Kendrick Lamar is COLD. ICE COLD. Like, wowowow. I know it's been out for time, but HUMBLE is mad - got all kinds of vibes from that. Head on fire plus the robe/cloak gave me Pentecost/Acts of the Apostles vibes, the visual beauty of the thing, and of course the bars themselves-- amazing. Anyway, moving from King Kendrick's liquid nitrogen levels of COLD so much so his head needed setting on fire, to heat and dryness. This is my day 17 poem. I heard about musicians being exiled to the desert in Mali (I think) recently, so this is very loosely inspired by that. 

Enjoy

Bare Dry

deserts are usually dead lakes or seas.
dig far enough and you'll find the bones of fish or oil (dead plankton juice).

i dug and hoped to find what's left of my
imagination. if i had a drill
i'd let the heat blow through holes in the ground
and make a flute of arid soil. 

if only i could make a drum or harp
of sand and cracks and drying trees to beat
or strum. i can't and so i played myself.

Day 16 | #NaPoWriMo | Happy Easter/Pascha/Resurrection/Egg Holiday

What's good, fam? 

Christos Anesti! 

Hope your Easter weekend (which has nothing to do with the Babylonian deity Ishtar) was restful and such. This next one is also seasonal because I couldn't help it, but I don't do it for the eggs. Thanks for being here.

Enjoy 

(N.B. The title will probably change)

And then the Angel of the Lord said unto him:

You forgot to tend your wounds again.
Infection spread like weed roots through your veins
to your heart   You say

I will not believe unless I feel

but you were too late
for the death and the funeral - missed the darkness
and the tears and your chance to be torn free of doubt.
It is a parasite you’ve learned to live with.
Now you want to kill it with proof

so you are trying to catch flies,
hoping Death will be close by. But

the tombs are empty today.

The only bandages around are left behind
from the body you missed too.

There may be some spilled myrrh
you can sponge off the ground for ointment
and a flame you can borrow
to burn the lateness out of you.

He is risen. Follow suit.

Day 15 | #NaPoWriMo | You didn't think I'd left you hanging, did you?

I've been a few days behind on this, but I'm back. I'll go backwards and fill the gaps soon, but if I stayed behind I would have fallen off for real.

Lesson of the past few days: just keep going. I didn't realise how easy it would be to fall off. One slip and before I knew it I was like three days behind. And it all started to slip because I begun trying too hard and falling into old habits. And it's taken its toll on this as a result. Well no more. No apologies either. I publicly promised myself I would finish this. 

I'll come with the older ones over the next day or so. (They'll be backdated, of course)

Enjoy

FUTILE

I’ve stopped asking you for wisdom and prompts
hoping you can unlock my tongue.

even now my fingers are fatigued
my joints aren’t what they should be

my brain is a screwed up
paper ball
with inkblots,

              rattling

                        in my head

as I try to make music from this deflation and mess
and even if I could make symphonies
of scratchy rattling noise
or all the dots        ,
                                        and lines        ,

                                                        and empty                                      space

is anyone really listening?

       Hell,

               even if it were sheet music,

who in the hell would read or play it anyway?

Day 12 | #NaPoWriMo A-K-Ammo | I wrote this yesterday

It's getting a bit more abstract each day and it's getting harder to write new things. That's not why this one is late and backdated (it would jar me otherwise).

I did write this yesterday when I was meant to, I was just too late uploading it so thought I may as well do it later. I've not got much else to say in this intro. Not everyday ramble. 

I'm not sure what this one's about. It may be related to Day 2's poem. But it may not be - I haven't decided yet. Here it is.

Enjoy

I stumbled over myself like a newborn goat
then fell.
I’m still rolling down the mountain.
I hope the next time I’m flung
or tossed upright I can learn to stand
for myself and not be
a fumbling slave to gravity,
lest I reach maturity still tumbling
and die by my own two horns.

Day 11 | #NaPoWriMo | Sleep and goals

These intros are actually pressure. I didn't think think I'd burn out with these intros so quickly, but at the same time, I never thought I'd last this long. I'm grateful.

I was talking about goals, work ethic, and progress with a friend of mine today. He echoed one of the reasons I was doing this as he listed his plans: to work on my own work and put myself in good stead to achieve good things this year. I also realised the Squarespace trial was running out and I hadn't tested the limits of this thing as much as I wish I had. Well, there's time. Not sure what to take away from that

Okay, this poem is untitled. I'm not sure what it's getting at, but here it is. The title may change, I think.

Enjoy

They'll catch you sleepin'

Your most consistent hobby was daydreaming.
Now you've mastered the art of sleep.
Dreams are the only place you cannot eat,
or fail, or need to date, or prove your paranoia right.
Maybe this is why you took up narcolepsy,
and even now, you fight the urge to stay awake
and write.

Day 10 | #NaPoWriMo | +

I didn't feel comfortable posting something about love or dogs or women or necklaces. But I was very conflicted about this in the first place.

I don't think I have the right to elaborate on the context of this piece either, but if you've been following the news very recently, you'll know what it refers to. I don't wanna ruin it, so if you don't know and are interested, then hit me up. I haven't got the right or skill to be so direct. Kudos to the poets who can be.

Palm Sunday

I tried to write about
     Egypt today.
I want to grieve but
     can't.
Think: "Hosanna"
("Save us, O God in the Highest")

Day 9 | #NaPoWriMo | It's a bit mad, still

I owe y'all an intro. I had even less time tonight. Grey Matters finished (for now), so I didn't get home til late. I am exhausted, but it must go on.

Sleep is good for you. Get your sleep, please. I'll write a proper intro tomorrow.

This one's short.

Enjoy.

I swear
as pigeons limp and seagulls fly
I'll give you my ghost tomorrow
I'll be braver then
tonight I'm out of breath